Rage, Resistance and Writing When Everything Feels Wrong

This week, we’re not airing our scheduled episode.

We couldn’t.

In this unfiltered, off-schedule conversation, we talk honestly about why continuing as normal felt wrong and how writing, reading, and storytelling have always existed as responses to power, fear, and collapse.

We discuss:

• why silence isn’t neutral for creators
• writing during rage, grief, and political overwhelm
• books as resistance (even when they’re fantasy or romance)
• how to create without forcing productivity
• and why processing the moment matters, even if you never share the work

This episode isn’t polished. It isn’t profound. It’s real.

If you’re feeling frozen, angry, exhausted, or unsure how to keep creating while the world feels on fire...this conversation is for you.

Content note: This episode references current political realities and may be heavy for some listeners. If today isn’t the day for this kind of conversation, it’s okay to skip. We’ll return to our regular programming soon.

You’re not alone. And your voice, whatever form it takes, still matters.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Marg's Manuscripts, everyone. We are not airing our previously scheduled episode for this week. We couldn't. We just couldn't do it. Um, it didn't feel right, and we didn't want to be dishonest and we didn't want to ignore what was happening. Uh so if you're listening, thank you. If you've gotten this far. Um, but this episode touches on the current political realities that we're all facing right now. And if that's not where you are today, if you don't want this voice to be even louder in your head, just skip this episode. That's okay. Um, it touches on fascism, authoritarianism, and just the perfectly frank shitstorm that we're all living. We will return to our scheduled programming soon. I don't know what's for you. So you know that you are not alone. So thank you for listening. I don't feel comfortable, like, not even comfortable, like I don't feel like right, like posting like what we normally post, like even this week, like posting shit that's like fun and happy go lucky and like all of that stuff. Like it's gonna be like really hard for me. And I know that it's like gonna serve as like a distraction for but it's just really hard to even think about like where to start without being like inauthentic with it.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah. So for anybody who's like listening to this, yeah, that's right. We uh had an episode for this week, which we'll just we'll put out next week, but it just felt I don't know, it just felt like really strange to and tone deaf to like put out an episode of like us complaining about having the social media market as authors and stuff when like there's so much else going on, and it's and it's like fun and funny, and there'll there'll be a time for it, but like it just didn't feel like now was the time. And I don't know, I feel like going back to the whole mission of like why we even created this podcast was like so that writers, authors, even readers, like have a community or like feel less alone and can have a drink with their girlfriends and talk about just all the things that we go through, like doing this thing together. Um and so I feel like if our community and like all of us are feeling this way, then like I don't know, we're all just like, yeah, like you're just not alone in it. And so that's why I don't know, we just wanted to jump on here tonight. It's literally Sunday night. And we're not gonna edit this, we're just gonna post whatever comes out of our mouth. Um just so that, yeah, we all feel less alone in this struggle because like what we're doing is really isolating, and then the world is feels on fire. Um and it's really hard to do all of those things and keep your brain in in like a good space.

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Yeah. I'm especially be like it's it's felt like it's been on fire for like a really long time. But if you've paid attention like thus far, like I'm from Wisconsin. Um, I live in Green Bay. And so what's happening right now in Minnesota hits really, really close to home. Um, I have friends that live in Minneapolis, outside of Minneapolis, spent time with a lot of you live in Minneapolis, like a lot of this community, yeah. And it's like I joke that Minnesota is like Wisconsin 2.0. It's like woke Wisconsin. And so what's happening and seeing people like our age and people with very normal lives being thrown into the middle of this and dying for it. It's like, how do I? I don't want to make this like about me. And I was like texting you, Kate, about this earlier today. I'm like, I don't want to talk about how this is making me feel. I don't want to talk about like all of the mental anguish I've gone through because it's it's neither here, there, nor there. It doesn't compare to anything that they're going through. But at some point, like we have to collectively be able to talk about these things and not just sweep stuff under the rug and pretend like everything's fine. Like I know we all joke that there's some form of escapism in our reading and our writing, and we're telling these stories because we don't want to deal with reality, but more so now than ever, it we have to like pick our heads up, realize what's happening, and you know, the the there's that saying of like the the pen is mightier than the sword, and the pen is like someone's response to power. And I think as writers, we have a we have a job to do, and it doesn't have to be we don't need to be Kurt Vonnegut, like, but we do need to be able to say something and get it out.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Because I'm somebody who who would in my natural state like shy away from that and just be like, well, I'm I'm I'm not like a like a social justice like writer. And it's like that's not at all like what it has to be either. And I don't, I don't think that's like, yeah, I I think that that means whatever it means for you. Because I think as writers, and and I know like we all go through the imposter syndrome of like aspiring authors, and do I call myself a writer or whatever? But like as a as a writer and as an aspiring author, whatever you want to call yourself, like you have a platform. You've created a platform for yourself, and you are creating a platform for yourself. And even in our little our humble podcast, like there's hundreds of you that listen to this, which is still crazy to me. That's crazy to me, and that's enough for me to be like, I want to get on and I want to talk to the people listening because I feel like if I'm feeling this way and and we all have this like collective experience together, then they're feeling this way. And maybe my job with this small platform is just to get on and say, like, hey, you're not alone. And yeah, and and and it can be scary to know how to use this thing that we do in a way that could seem helpful. But I think like whatever that helpful thing means to you, whether if it's writing a fun romantic comedy, like I don't know what it is, but like I think that that we are asked, like, I think that not only does like the world need more of it, but like people are asking for it. And like people are really needing it. You don't have to be Kristen Hannah, you don't have to be writing these like epic historical fiction that like showcase these characters and like Nazi Germany and stuff, as important as her work is, and important as that work in is like if that's you, oh my gosh, you need it. If it's not you, there's another way that you can use your voice um to help you.

SPEAKER_00 8:06

Our means of processing stuff as writers, like as creative people, is to create.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

It doesn't have to be something that you're gonna use, it doesn't have to be something that you're even gonna share with anyone, but we we process things up way differently than like the average absolutely, and if you've listened to this podcast, like a lot of times we're talking about the times that we're unable to write are the times that we're not feeling something in particular. Yeah, yeah. And so even if this wakes you up because it wakes up some sort of emotion in you to create something, then use that to create something, whatever that is for you, even if it's just for you to process whatever feelings you have and work through those feelings, do that. I I don't know. I'd honestly like we didn't even come on here to like because we had anything like really profound. Like I have no clever things to make a beautiful post about with like these wonderful quotes, or like, oh, this is gonna change your perspective on whatever. Like it's literally just because we this is our this is how we're processing this current thing right now. And maybe you are too.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

And some people I know feel a little like you said, Kate, like isolated that they don't know how to talk about it. They don't know how to talk about their feelings. And I know that's like why I'm talking to you about it. Cause like I think us talking about it literally has not like had a phone call. No, no, like we all we did was just like the world's on fucking fire, like yeah. I think this is just too like I think there's been so much over the years, and obviously this year, and then it was just like oh god my geez, what the fuck today is just like a such a what and what the fuck day and and you look at we have kids, so many of you have kids, and I had to sit my kids down today and tell them, hey, if you hear me and daddy like having like big feelings and using big words and talking to each other, we're not mad at each other, we're not fighting, we're literally just processing some really big stuff because there's some mean people in the world. And then of course I showered them in gifts because I don't know how else to just make it stop.

SPEAKER_01 10:55

But it my kids are four and two, and is it like just because you were having like and you were like maybe a little bit more on edge today and having like yeah, like more short. Yeah, I felt that too today. Like I was just like more on edge or more like on my phone too.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

And I think I've never on my phone this much, it's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

And honestly, though, like it wasn't even like I just need to see what people are saying. It was like it made me feel better to see people saying stuff, you know, like it it actually was just like actually this feels big. Like this feels like a people are mad. Like I and like and and this feels like a big moment for but we say that all the time. Like we said that like with BLM in Minneapolis, and like we've said that in the past, and so like I don't know. I hope, I hope this is a turning point for a lot of people who needed a turning point, shouldn't have taken this long. I will tell you that. But I don't know, maybe I don't know, but it just like it made me feel like the sense of obviously like we're snowed in where we are actually physically isolated from each other and stuff. So like it just made me feel a little bit more connected to people like seeing it, and then the the things that like made me truly mad were just like the posts, and like and and some of them might be scheduled. Like, I get it. You schedule posts, but it was just like scrolling through, like, people are just like there are some really great articles and great videos out there that are putting out good information and saying all the right things and stuff, but then you like scroll in the next post, is just like reasons I'll reject your query letter. And I was like, not fucking today, agent.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

Chill out, like read the room, damn it.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Read the room, nobody wants no, nobody needs it.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Nobody wants to.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

I don't want to think about my fucking query letter today.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

No, you know what I want to do? I want to rage at it. Okay, back up. Um I just want to eat my feelings. Well, that's too. I that's on the docket for after this. Like Ben and Jerry, they're hanging out in my freezer, gonna indulge. It's great. Um, but I'm all day I rage cleaned. This was the most productive I have been in months. And literally, no, no room was was spared from my rage cleaning. And now that the whole house is spotless, I want to rage edit my book. And I want to make it all about fascism now. It was already like borderline, very um asking questions of government authority and about what's wow, it's more about like persecution of people that are different. Um just all across the board, all across the board. So here we are, and I want to rage at it and make it very clear what my message is, because this is getting ridiculous. That like people are reading these books. Like, I take I have said this before, I apologize for this soapbox moment, but you put a microphone in front of me, you give me kind of permission to do it. And fourth wing is about politics. When people say I want politics out of my entertainment, then the world is silent, then we have no opinions, then we have nothing to talk about. And saying, I just want to read books and I just want to, you know, bury my head in the sand, like you know what? Reading is resistance, like it is not neutral territory and it never has been. If you are a woman and you are reading a book, guess what? That is a form of resistance because there are plenty of people that have tried for centuries not to let that happen. And if you think that you can, as a writer, not take all of this rage and this anger and make it into something, like craft it into a diamond, like compress it and make it something great and hard, whew. You're underestimating yourself. You're underselling your ability of your craft because I know how hard each and every one of you works. And you are not here to just people please. You are here because you have something to say. And we ask ourselves every day, why am I taking the time to punish myself for years on end? And it's not because we love pain, we do it because we love telling stories and sharing parts of ourselves with others. Please, if you don't if you don't have to write for a job, maybe now's the time for you to write for a hundred percent you. It takes big feelings.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Yeah, it takes big feelings. It does, it takes big feelings. Um man, there's so much I could say. It's almost like my it's like frozen. I feel like frozen because there's so much I wanna like there's so much to say, like that I cannot like process, and that's why where I would just like why write it down. But like it's so true, like you don't even know where to start. I'm just like frozen and and if you're like me where I think in like 2016, like I was super involved, you know, like I was so informed, I was on top of everything, I was so angry, I was so outspoken, and like I was just in it. Yeah, we did the women's march, like cool us, like that seems like a lifetime ago. Like, even but it was like this time of just like anger, but kind of optimism, kind of scared, but like, what did we really know? We had like so many years of optimism before that, and just like feeling like the world was this like wonderful place for that short time. And then it just started to be like, well, everyone's kind of annoyed by me. Like, I don't know, like I just this is too much. It's controlling too many of my feelings and my view on the world, and just like, and so like you put it away, like you just end up putting it away, you get exhausted, you are just like, I'm just gonna, I'm I'm tired. And then COVID happened, and then you're just focused on that, and then and then we had these few boring years of just like really not having to pay much attention anymore. So like it all went, and then you grew up and you had kids in that time, right? Like if if you're me, then you get it.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

That's that timeline.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

And so I think in this new in the last few years, like then you've if you're like me, you've probably felt like I have kids. Like I'm I'm trying to stay informed, I'm trying to go to work, I'm trying to raise good kids, I'm trying to do all of these things while also a little scared, but not as energized and outspoken as you were in 2016. Like it's just different. And then while you were turned your back was turned, and now you're now it's like wow, we all really just we've really let that like yeah, I just love yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

We've we've let ourselves go, America.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Yeah, and so now it's like and now it's like okay, we yeah, this has to be a priority like now again. Yeah. Now I'm mad again, and now I'm I'm truly like back. Yeah, I I don't know. If if it's hard to explain, but if you are the same age as us and you get, you know, you get it. Um I don't know. That's where I would start because it's like, what else do we, what can we do? Can somebody like give us some really great tangible things to do? And I know that that's like not going to target and not buying, not being a consumer and giving into the um, you know, capitalist cycle and knowledge, like I get it, I get it. We're gonna we're not doing those things. What else? Because we're not gonna be marching in the street next to you all when we have two-year-olds and four-year-olds and three-year-olds and five-year-olds at at home. Like, and and we wanna be, and we wanna be like but what else what else can we do while we do all the other things?

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Yeah, I it's like sorry, buddy. Like you asked me to play with you, and like I just witnessed someone get murdered. But no, I can't say that. I have to say sure. And I have to put it in a box, and then after the kids go to bed, it all comes raging and spiraling out, and it's like I it was like a death spiral last night, and today it was a I can't sit still or else I won't be able to pull out of the death spiral again.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

And it feels so stupid because it's like we're so we have so much privilege, like and and and like this is like from a perspective of a person who has a very easy life, like you know, so I don't I think that and then like just to go into historical context and like how how like peaceful protesters have been killed for generations and and Vietnam, like Kent State, and all of these we've watched like it happen, and then now to think it's like fucking border patrol.

SPEAKER_00 21:45

I have said this to I've said this to Cody so many times and really anyone that listened, okay, because I firmly believe in it. It's like fear, fear is the driver behind 90. 99% of what's going on. It is fear of people that are unlike you. Well, yeah, and that's how it's going to be. I beg the question then of if you don't know someone that's like that, and if you don't have access to someone that's like that, like maybe you don't work with anyone that is LGBTQ. Maybe you don't live in a community that has very diverse communities and like races and ethnicities. But read a book.

SPEAKER_01 22:40

God damn it. Because like, if there's nothing else we know as writers and readers, it's that there are fucking universal truths and universal themes because everyone in the fucking universe can understand love, can understand motherhood, can understand despair, pain. And so it's just not a fucking excuse anymore. It's just not. It was their neighbors. Yeah, go read a book.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

It wasn't like this isn't. Yeah, okay. If this gets taken out of context, I can be really mad. But this is not, this is not the politicians that are going and gunning down people that are arresting people. This is your neighbor that has had the rhetoric of little man of I have been shat on for too long. I'm gonna now stick it to them. I'm gonna stick it to the liberals. They are being brandished with no sense of what our constitution is, what our laws are, and just instead, they are being armed with hatred. And guess what? That is every single historical conflict ever. The most obvious one that we all have learned so much in school is World War II and the Third Reich. And if that's where you want to start, great. Keep going backwards. Keep going. And please take this. Like, I think we we started off this episode like as just being, I don't know even what to say. And I clearly think that now it's the I'm in my rage era because all I want to do is just yell at people to quit thinking that history doesn't repeat itself. And what side of this do you want to be on now?

SPEAKER_01 25:35

And the difference between the difference between, and I just I go back to I go back to like the last two major, like I go back to like Vietnam and World War II and whatever, because that's like generations of people that we know in our in our lives that lived through that, right? And I and so I think go there. Yeah. And it's yeah, and and and in their experiences, because their experiences shaped your grandparents' experiences and their your grandparents' experiences, Vietnam era like shaped your parents' experiences. So like these things are what we can turn to. And in all those times, what we didn't have in all those times, information was fucking everyone just watched Walter Walter Cronkite, right? Like everyone just watched one news program and it was Walter Cronkite, and whatever he said was the fucking news. This is it, it was a fucking news. Like, and they read like stars and stripes, or they read like this, like whatever that was, that one thing that everyone just got their news from, the radio or whatever it was. And now we have these things, these freaking things that give us knowledge from the entire human existence exists on this. And and like we have access to so much information and so much footage. We are seeing things we shouldn't be seeing. Like it's like there's no excuse for them to be able to control us in the way that they were controlling people in the 1940s. There's just no excuse for that anymore. Like we're just like educate yourself, read a book, keep writing the books.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

And you you don't even have to write, you don't even have to write political crap. You don't have to write dystopian or manifestos or anything sexy like that. It can if you write, it is a form of protest. You are writing even if you have thoughts. If you have if you have thoughts, if you want to write a romance because you are so sick of everything that's happening around you, that's your form of protest. If you want to just be in this deliberate refusal of hating your neighbors and you want to write about loving your neighbors, that's that's your protest. And both for both forms of writing, every kind of book matters. But when fear gets in the way of us being creative, that's when you kind of know that they've won. Because I don't want anyone that listens to this being like, I don't know anything about you. I know what you've given me on social media. You don't know. We know like more than I would be comfortable with knowing, but then again, I put myself here. But I don't know anything about you. I don't know your background, but I do know that you're showing up in the world not because you hate everyone. So why be quiet about loving someone and loving your neighbor and being kind to people and maybe you have the next, I don't know, like historical fiction that's about last year. That's technically historical. But I just I just all I want to gain from this episode is people feeling comfortable to be angry about it. Like you don't have to mask it with us, like we're not masking it. Like this is unfueled. There is no tequila fueling this rage. It is what I have been holding in. So just we're choosing to acknowledge the moment because this is our platform, like you said. We want to document what we are feeling, we want to process what we're feeling. So this is I'm not asking anyone to like panic and rage clean anything. No one needs to join me in that. It's just a call for you to continue to create, and maybe it just looks a little bit different now.

SPEAKER_01 30:12

Yeah, I think acknowledging the moment is a really good way to put it too.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

Yeah. And be patient with yourself. If you're feeling the rage, it's okay. You don't have to you don't have to change what that rage is yet, if you don't if you don't want to. You don't have to be like, I need to make this into something productive or tangible. No, you can sit in it. You can sit in the pain and you can sit in the anger and the grief. Um because being being patient before you act will always lead to you making a better decision. And I didn't make that up. I actually read that in Silver Cloak today. Because I was reading. Like I wasn't even like I was listening to it while I was cleaning, and I was cleaning out the bathroom cupboards, and I heard that, and I'm like, oh that was rather profound for a romantic scene. Shit.